In the last two articles about Durban dating we gave you some great places to take your first date for something to eat and drink. So now you’ve done that and it’s time to grab your coat you get to the first delicate issue of the evening. Who’s paying for this nosh then?
“As a man he should pay surely. It’s the same as opening a door or putting your coat on a large puddle. We’re still in 1954 aren’t we?”. At the same time the man is thinking “It’s 2013, surely we should go halves, I’ll offend her if I pay, I don’t want to seem like a chauvinist”.
According to Debrett’s the person who requests the pleasure, pays for the pleasure. This means the person who did the inviting should, in theory also pick up the tab.
The best advice we can give is firstly, as a man, offer to pay the bill. It’s old fashioned we know but it will send out good signals. It’ll show her that you are polite, caring and not a cheapskate. It’ll also make it easier to get a second date. She won’t have the nagging voice in the back of her head saying ‘OMG, he’s got no money …’ Women like money and they like security. If things go well and you settle down and have children then somebody is going to have to earn to look after them and that’s probably going to be you buddy. If you ain’t got no money now, then that’s a really bad sign.
If however she is adamant that you go halves then resist but don’t fight it. It’s her way of saying we’re equal. As a man however, who’s used to paying and being the king of his castle this can be unnerving. She’s essentially saying that you both wear the trousers which, could spell trouble later down the road! Be warned.
Whatever you do though don’t do what one guy did. He willingly paid for the bill then later when the women said ‘thanks but there’s going to be no second date due to zero chemistry’ he asked her for half the money back.
If you have a Durban dating disaster you’d like to share then please let us know.